Post by othus on Oct 9, 2019 9:30:18 GMT
Gan’s diary, Sept 4, 1999
Writing is a big passion of mine, It’s one of the few things my mother taught me. I have never seen anything like this elsewhere, and my mother says I never will, but we can still communicate secretly through this.
Every time I use these letters I feel some joy I cannot explain. There is no one else who can read what I write besides mother so, I write for myself, as having her read this is somewhat embarrassing.
Day 1
Today was average, I got up before the sunrise and tended the horses, then, I helped my mother shear some wool. the rest of my day was spent looking for what father calls small game, although I did not have much luck. My father went hunting a few days ago, but he did not take me with him, he says I'm nothing but a burden, I wish I could catch something just to prove him wrong. He will be back in a couple of days, although I sometimes wish he just didn’t.
Day 2
My mother told me about her land of origin, she comes from a place called Japan. She says there are vast bodies of water surrounding it, and that everyone there can use our secret language. Mother has forbidden me to speak or write in front of my father using our language, so I don't. It’s not like he is around much anyway.
Whenever I ask my mother why she left Japan she always evades the question. She says sometimes life pushes you around, and that some things are beyond our control. I don’t understand what she means by that, but I can tell she gets sad just by speaking about it.
Day 3
Father came back, barely managed to hunt a thing. He called me useless again and beat me, my mother shouted at him and got beat up even worse. I hate him. Why do we have to rely on someone like him? I wish he was dead.
Day 4
I caught a wild goat, barely wandered 10 miles before I saw it and brought it back on my shoulders. Mother was impressed, she says I’m very strong, but I don’t really feel that way. with the goat now we won’t have to depend on Father for at least a couple weeks, mother has told me she will use it for food and some new clothing for me. Although my father has returned, he has yet to come by again. Perhaps he won’t be calling me useless again.
Day 10
I wanted to write something, but I just couldn’t. sometimes life pushes you around, and some things are beyond our control, like my father getting drunk and strangling my mother. He traded the goat I had caught for booze and came back only to take it out on us. I regret not being strong enough to stop him, and for my weakness, my mother paid with her life. He took everything I had, so I took everything he had. I stabbed him while he was asleep, left him bleeding to death inside the Ger. This is probably the last time I write, as there is no one else that will ever even read this, and I truly don’t care anymore. I thought taking my own life would be as easy as taking my father’s, but I guess I am not brave enough to do it to myself. I miss mother greatly.
Day 1, 2005
I met a woman today, My men and I saved her from getting raped by some bandits. She seemed somewhat puzzled as to what they were trying to do to her, even though she is clearly older than me. Naturally, we killed them all and I brought her back to my Ger. Somehow she reminds me of my mother, her skin and face are not like the rest of the Mongolian women. She said she would be cooking for me and my men from now on, so we don’t have to steal food from other people. she...has powers of some sort, In fact, she is cooking something with magic as I write this. somehow I feel joy again. That is something I thought I would never get to feel again...
Writing is a big passion of mine, It’s one of the few things my mother taught me. I have never seen anything like this elsewhere, and my mother says I never will, but we can still communicate secretly through this.
Every time I use these letters I feel some joy I cannot explain. There is no one else who can read what I write besides mother so, I write for myself, as having her read this is somewhat embarrassing.
Day 1
Today was average, I got up before the sunrise and tended the horses, then, I helped my mother shear some wool. the rest of my day was spent looking for what father calls small game, although I did not have much luck. My father went hunting a few days ago, but he did not take me with him, he says I'm nothing but a burden, I wish I could catch something just to prove him wrong. He will be back in a couple of days, although I sometimes wish he just didn’t.
Day 2
My mother told me about her land of origin, she comes from a place called Japan. She says there are vast bodies of water surrounding it, and that everyone there can use our secret language. Mother has forbidden me to speak or write in front of my father using our language, so I don't. It’s not like he is around much anyway.
Whenever I ask my mother why she left Japan she always evades the question. She says sometimes life pushes you around, and that some things are beyond our control. I don’t understand what she means by that, but I can tell she gets sad just by speaking about it.
Day 3
Father came back, barely managed to hunt a thing. He called me useless again and beat me, my mother shouted at him and got beat up even worse. I hate him. Why do we have to rely on someone like him? I wish he was dead.
Day 4
I caught a wild goat, barely wandered 10 miles before I saw it and brought it back on my shoulders. Mother was impressed, she says I’m very strong, but I don’t really feel that way. with the goat now we won’t have to depend on Father for at least a couple weeks, mother has told me she will use it for food and some new clothing for me. Although my father has returned, he has yet to come by again. Perhaps he won’t be calling me useless again.
Day 10
I wanted to write something, but I just couldn’t. sometimes life pushes you around, and some things are beyond our control, like my father getting drunk and strangling my mother. He traded the goat I had caught for booze and came back only to take it out on us. I regret not being strong enough to stop him, and for my weakness, my mother paid with her life. He took everything I had, so I took everything he had. I stabbed him while he was asleep, left him bleeding to death inside the Ger. This is probably the last time I write, as there is no one else that will ever even read this, and I truly don’t care anymore. I thought taking my own life would be as easy as taking my father’s, but I guess I am not brave enough to do it to myself. I miss mother greatly.
Day 1, 2005
I met a woman today, My men and I saved her from getting raped by some bandits. She seemed somewhat puzzled as to what they were trying to do to her, even though she is clearly older than me. Naturally, we killed them all and I brought her back to my Ger. Somehow she reminds me of my mother, her skin and face are not like the rest of the Mongolian women. She said she would be cooking for me and my men from now on, so we don’t have to steal food from other people. she...has powers of some sort, In fact, she is cooking something with magic as I write this. somehow I feel joy again. That is something I thought I would never get to feel again...