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Post by HungryHunter on Nov 15, 2017 5:02:27 GMT
The unicorn barely even seemed to raise its head when Aaron spoke. It gave him a dull-eyed stare for a few seconds, then turned and charged the other direction. It moved with a horse's speed and a goat's agility, hopping down a hill at the edge of the clearing with sure feet. "Unicorns are all about purity and kindness, right? Maybe you have to be nicer." Gianni realized how hideously naive it sounded, but he didn't have any better ideas. He was never the unicorn type, despite his colorful outfit.
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Post by TimePuppy on Nov 24, 2017 19:53:00 GMT
Aaron scoffed,"Do I look like a horse whisperer to you? Or a goat whisperer? It's just a stupid animal, it can't understand me and I don't need to fucking coddle it."
Still, chasing after it could take all day. Or would if time inside the tomb passed the same way it did outside. The balancer didn't want to waste all that time on a stupid task. He chased after it to the edge of the clearing.
"Here, horsey-horsey! I'll give you carrots and apples if you kindly come here! I can even give you cuddles!" he yelled after it before turning around to Gianni. "If you tell anyone about this, I'll rip you in half."
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Post by HungryHunter on Nov 25, 2017 3:00:36 GMT
"And I'll sew myself back together, so don't waste your time." Gianni walked to the edge of the hill and looked down at the path the unicorn had taken. It could have been five feet away or closer, but they certainly wouldn't know with the thick bramble undergrowth that lay before them. Gianni flicked a thread down to attach to a giant flower and swung over the bramble, landing on the trunk of another flower.
"You sure they're stupid? Sometimes they talk in stories, don't they? Let's see, what else do people say about them... their horns cure disease? Or poison, maybe. Or do they just detect it? And, uh... oh! I know! In the middle ages, they thought to catch one you had to have a maiden!" Gianni was technically right, but not all the way correct. It was a bit broader than that, in a way Aaron might pick up on himself.
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Post by TimePuppy on Nov 25, 2017 19:58:31 GMT
Aaron's sweetest promises had no effect on the so-called unicorn. That pissed him off, and Gianni's attitude was not making the situation any better.
"I don't suppose you have a spare maiden in your pocket?" Aaron jeered. None of Gianni's observations helped him. That is, until he realized the term wasn't necessarily always "maiden". He looked at Gianni with a grin some might describe as evil.
"Say, rawny, you don't look like much of a social butterfly. I can't imagine girls flock to you, either. So, did you pop yer cherry yet?"
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Post by HungryHunter on Nov 25, 2017 23:04:11 GMT
"Hey, girls like the way I dress. Especially the fashionistas in the clothing department." Gianni indignantly stood sideways off the flower he stood on. "But no. I haven't really had time for dating. Why... ah." Gianni looked down into the bramble. "Uh... hi, unicorn. Can you please come out of the bramble?" He looked into the thick undergrowth for signs of the pseudo horse, and to his surprise, a long horn rose from the bushes. The unicorn stuck his face out to stare at the spidery tailor. "Fascinating! How do you think it detects virginity? What's the cutoff for intelligence when it calculates this? Certainly it doesn't let predators near simply for being virginal." Gianni was taking notes again and would until interrupted.
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Post by TimePuppy on Dec 10, 2017 7:45:55 GMT
Gianni didn't even hesitate when he tried to attract the unicorn.
"You really are an alien," said Aaron.
What's more, he was enamored by the mechanics of the creature's behavior. Aaron bonked the spider archaeologist on the head and said, "Who cares? You're supposed to be an archaeologist, not a biologist. Just take it to the gnome so we can keep going."
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Post by HungryHunter on Dec 10, 2017 23:07:09 GMT
"Look, just because you have no curiosity whatsoever... fine, we have others things to do. You're right." Gianni backed away from the bushes and the unicorn followed. It took silent steps forward and rubbed its head on his leg, horn waving dangerously past him. Gianni jumped back up to the clearing via the flowers and the unicorn hopped up alongside him. If Aaron didn't get to close, it would follow him right back through the door they started from. The gnome was waiting on a makeshift throne of earth, reading some sort of fairy magazine with an every changing kaleidoscopic mess of colors on the front.
"Hm? Already back? That was supposed to take days! Ugh, they really don't make heroes like they used to if you can't even get women. Back in the day, even Goddesses couldn't resist them!" He tossed his magazine to the floor and it sank away. "Alright, let's get this over with so I can mop up." The gnome cracked his knuckles and the cavern shook. What appeared to be a human, but 8 feet tall, rose from the floor. He wore a coat of mail over a form that bulged unnaturally with muscle, and a helmet covered its face but for a single eye hole.
"So these are the current heroes of earth? Hm. The Celt has promise. The other... go home, boy. Heroes die young, but you look too young even still." The being's voice was higher than would be expected from its form and nasally. "This is my Fomorian friend Balimor. They're going to test your combat ability. Have fun." The gnome sank beneath the ground and his throne blew away as dust. The unicorn fled via the door, leaving them alone with the Fomorian. Balimor stood still, spear at the ready and shield covering their body for when the heroes attacked.
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Post by TimePuppy on Dec 12, 2017 18:32:03 GMT
By the time Gianni finished his complaining Aaron was already out the door, so the unicorn had no problems following Gianni outside. Outside, the gnome was not impressed by their efficiency, and of course he complained about how quickly they finished their task. Unperturbed by his insult, which really said more about his Goddesses than modern heroes, Aaron just wished for the task to hurry along.
Now, when the gnome summoned his buddy, even Aaron was a bit intimidated. Rarely did he face something both big and trained in fighting. To make matters worse, Balimor was also armed and ready. Faced with such a disadvantage, even Aaron wouldn't rely solely on close quarters combat.
"Rawny, if you wanna find out more about your people, you should think up a plan fast. Otherwise, this'll be a murder of a fight." Murder meaning very difficult in this case, although dying was also possible. Still, the sigils on Aaron's arms started glowing and he aimed a Flauros-powered blast their opponent's eye and than followed it up with two blasts to his spear-hand.
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Post by HungryHunter on Dec 12, 2017 19:29:59 GMT
Balimor raised their shield and let the fireball explode against it before sidestepping the other two. "Such a noisy attack." That androgynous voice came again as Balimor stomped closer. "Plan!? You're the warrior here! I'm a scientist, I don't fight!" Gianni backed away so that Aaron stood alone in Balimor's way. Balimor's spear flicked out like a chameleon's tongue, flaring up with flickering green ki at the tip for just a split second as it attacked. The blow wasn't aimed to be lethal, just stabbing for one of Aaron's arms.
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Post by TimePuppy on Dec 14, 2017 19:52:55 GMT
"Coward." Aaron said. Even after they established Gianni would have to fight for his life. Although Aaron couldn't call him completely useless, especially after the last trial.
Aaron dodged to the side, narrowly avoiding the spear. Flauros stopped glowing, now replaced by Asmodeus's physical might. Aaron tried grabbing the large being's forearm to open its guard and then he tried repeatedly punching it in the stomach with his other hand. With the armor, unarmed attacks perhaps wouldn't have much of an effect usually, but with the physical boost Asmodeus provided Aaron's fists were the closest thing to a blunt weapon he had. If his attack succeeded, a sharp pain shooting through his arm would reveal that the spear still managed to graze his arm, leaving a red line that grew thicker as blood started seeping out.
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Post by HungryHunter on Dec 15, 2017 2:06:39 GMT
Balimor was unbalanced by the unexpected strength of Aaron's arm, leaving their chest's chainmail open to be rung by the landing blows. The giant grunted and drew away. "Heroes no longer fight with weapons, but with their fists, eh? Very well!" They dropped their shield and tossed aside their spear. With a swift step inwards, the giant threw an oversized fist at Aaron's stomach. Again, ki only flared around the incoming meteor of a hand at the last second, conserving the ki overall.
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Post by TimePuppy on Dec 19, 2017 20:23:12 GMT
Aaron's attacks weren't completely pointless as the giant drew away. Then it dropped it's weapons and Aaron could feel himself starting to sweat and he raised his defenses. He thought it would seem easier to beat without weapons, but if it was willing to give up its advantage so easily...
Aaron's fears seemed to be well-founded when he felt the impact of Balimor's punch. If he wasn't ready to block it, he'd be on the ground right now. Instead his arm was throbbing, blood dripping down his elbow and off of the giant's fist.
"Guh. What the fuck do you eat, you beast? You're too big." Aaron said, before kicking at the side of Balimor's knee and following it up with an uppercut and a hook to the side of the head.
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Post by HungryHunter on Dec 20, 2017 2:42:40 GMT
"Fish of the sea, bread of the land, and sometimes the flesh of heroes who fail my training and challenges." Balimor was forced to lower themselves by the kick, making Aaron's uppercut catch them square on their armored jaw. The helmet's strap snapped and the helmet flew away. Balimor's face was almost human, just strangely androgynous. Luscious lips above a protruding chin and hair going to the neck made it difficult to tell just what gender Balimor was. The feature that made it clear that they weren't a human was their eye. Although closed, it still bulged like a ball hidden under a blanket, massive in the center of Balimor's face.
The long-lashed eye opened and Aaron's world became green. A lime green iris cast a cone of light that boiled away strength and brought pain in its wake. "You have made a terrible mistake, hero. You have opened my eye. Gaze upon it now." Balimor's words exposed sharp, tusk like canines. Aaron would feel his strength drain the longer he was exposed to the beam. Luckily for him, Gianni came swinging from behind and his feet met the back of Balimor's skull. The giant's eye widened further in surprise and they stumbled forward from the force. They were completely open, just for a second.
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Post by TimePuppy on Dec 23, 2017 21:31:48 GMT
Balimor's glowing gaze surprised Aaron. He couldn't do anything before his strength started leaving him. He dropped to one knee, struggling to get up, when suddenly the light engulfing him disappeared. Mustering all his remaining strength, he leaped to his feet, then tried grabbing Belimor's head and kneeing him in the face. If he succeeded, he would grab the helmet from the floor and shove it on Balimor's head the wrong way round, covering his face.
"Nice save, rawny."
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Post by HungryHunter on Dec 23, 2017 22:31:45 GMT
Gianni flew off the end of the string he swung in on and rolled to reduce the impact. "Ah, my foot! What's this guy made of?" Luckily for Aaron's knee, Balimor's eye wasn't like the near concrete of their skull. "Argh!" They growled, closing a newly bloodshot orb and covering it with one hand, making Aaron's followup easily succeed. The helmet was shoved in place and Balimor toppled backwards. Under the rumble of their huge body landing was another sound that grew in volume until it was earsplitting.
It was laughter, but not laughter like any Gianni had ever heard. It was high and sharp and discordant, like somebody randomly banging on a piano while sneezing. More importantly, it was annoying, just like the previous simile. Balimor eventually stopped the horrible noise and tossed their helmet aside. "I say you have passed!" They declared, eye tightly shut.
"Oh, come on." The groan came from the earth itself. "It's supposed to be to the death. It's in your contract." The gnome rose from the ground besides the fomorian like a submarine rising from the surface of the ocean. "To the death or until I deem them worthy. And they are worthy! The small one is clever and the large one bold. Together they are almost one complete hero! They just need some training!" Balimor pulled a card from a pocket in their armor's belt, right next to a bollock dagger.
Gianni was handed the card and read it. "Laurel Crown Hero Training", it read in black text on a seasick green background. There was a disclaimer about death and dismemberment below the address, along with the statement "Heroes always die young!" that was accompanied with a one-eyed skull. "Uh... I'll keep this in mind." Gianni twitched as he put it in his bag. He was beginning to suspect this was all a dream. Balimor gave an identical card to Aaron and began to sink away. "Well, I have a class back at my place. The students have either kept the spiked ceiling up or died, and either way I have to let them out. I hope to see you two again." The giant waved as they sank into the earth.
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Post by TimePuppy on Dec 24, 2017 17:59:11 GMT
Aaron had to cover his ears to keep out the noise. He was already breathing heavily so the fact that Balimor wasn't done after all that was disheartening. And to unleash such a horrific a sonic attack...
Thankfully, the noise eventually stopped. "I say you have passed!" Belimor declared.
"What?" Aaron shouted. The gnome's grumbling confirmed that they did indeed finish this task. glad it was over, Aaron took a deep breath and replaced Asmodeus with Buer to heal up. He examined his arm, seeing that the gash was already closing even if the arm was still stained with blood. Unfortunately his jacket would remain ripped. His little brother will probably be able to patch it up though.
He took Balimor's card with his clean hand and considered just tossing it away. He didn't care about being a hero. He didn't care for dying young. That would make his life-saving deal with the fairies essentially meaningless. But he put the card in his back pocket anyway. Why? Just a whim, perhaps. It could be useful.
"Alright gnome. That's two tasks. Hurry up with the next."
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Post by HungryHunter on Dec 24, 2017 21:11:09 GMT
"Yeah, yeah. Last challenge." The gnome stomped his foot and a wall slid away to reveal another room. "This one's easy. Just pick what you came for." Gianni studied the gnome through his glasses, but he couldn't see the guardian's face through his oversized hood. He just shrugged and stepped through. His jaw dropped at the sight before him. The room was a huge amphitheater that they entered on the bottom tier of. Every other tier was stacked to overflowing with spearheads. There were simple leaf-shaped heads, spears with so many barbs they looked like cartoonish Christmas trees, heads so tiny they would fit on a fairy's spear, heads taller than Gianni, made of stone, wood, bone, solidified fire, water, or lightning.
"Just pick the right one and you walk out with it. Pick the wrong one and all the fakes will come at you. You can take all the time you like, heroes. Feel free to pick them up and take a closer look. Just don't try to take the wrong one out of the room." The gnome's voice came mocking through every grain of dirt beneath their feet. "I really am not fond of him." Gianni looked over the spear heads in utter confusion. How were they even supposed to tell!?
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Post by TimePuppy on Dec 24, 2017 21:39:10 GMT
The final task was more daunting than the armed and armored giant. That was to be expected, but this was daunting in a different way. The spearheads littered the whole room, if you could even call it that considering its size.
"He is an asshole," Aaron agreed with Gianni. "I don't have time to waste on this crap." Yet not wasting it on looking for the spearhead meant wasting it on standing around pointlessly.
He started climbing, looking at the heads he passed. There must be a way to find the real one. But first he needed to know what it couldn't be. "You're a Chu Chulainn fanboy. What's his spear made of?"
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Post by HungryHunter on Dec 24, 2017 23:39:33 GMT
"Uh... sea monster bone." Gianni looked through the spearheads. There were at least a couple dozen bone ones just within grabbing range. "You won't find it that way. Plenty tried and failed, long ago." A voice came from atop one of the larger spearheads, soft, mechanical and hoarse. When Gianni looked up, he found a crow sitting high over them, looking down with beady black eyes. Gianni looked at the ground for signs of the former heroes who had failed this test before, but there wasn't a scrap of bone or drop of blood. "Oh, I ate them. Don't worry about it." The crow hopped lower and eyed Aaron. Gianni shuddered. Why did everything that talked in here want to eat them?
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Post by TimePuppy on Dec 30, 2017 13:29:54 GMT
Bone? Aaron looked around. He saw plenty spearheads made of bones, but no one head appeared any more special then another. He grabbed the nearest head, spinning it around, examining it for a marking that seemed special. He found nothing.
Suddenly he remembered something the fairies told him, and Aaron had an idea. "The spear is supposed to always hit the heart, ain't it?" He chucked the spearhead at the crow. If the crow survived, he would grab the nearest bone spearhead and repeat the process.
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