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Post by Obscuris on Oct 25, 2016 0:57:21 GMT
Hello honorable members of the forum!
This thread is plain and simple: Pick one of your fellow players and say something about their writing skills!
We are all big boys (and girls) and, although I'm extremely proud of how great our threads, characters and players are, I think there is always room for improvement. And what better way to do it than being than listening and understanding to our own community. But first, a few guidelines!
• This thread is only to criticize a player’s writing skills. It’s your opinion and you don’t have the absolute truth, so whoever you’re talking about might agree or disagree with you and that’s absolutely FINE.
• If you want, you can ask for opinions on your own skills.
• Try to keep our posts as constructive criticism. AKA: don’t be a dick. You feel that someone is maybe writing with few punctuation marks and their posts is difficult to read? Say it in a respectful and calm manner and don’t go all “12 year old on X-box live constantly screaming about how much you suck and how he had sex with your mom”.
I think that’s all. Have fun <3
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Post by Kuma on Oct 25, 2016 4:57:39 GMT
I'm the first in the slaugther house!
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Post by Iris on Oct 25, 2016 6:30:26 GMT
I honestly love Kuma's writing. ;_; I don't have any real critiques here at all...
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Post by Obscuris on Oct 27, 2016 2:48:25 GMT
Well... One thing i can say about Kuma is that he has a great sense of Anime-ish comedy, if that makes any sense. It's a double edge sword, because I feel that sometimes takes a bit of realism from time to time. It all depends of the readers taste, of course. Now I'll say a couple of things about one of the oldest and most active members of our community: Vapovile! A great guy (who at first i though was a chick!) and an awesome writer! First of all I'd like to say that i absolutely love his characters and few of them are my favourites of the forum (Sid FTW) and, as Kuma, has a great timing for comedy and keeps his writing short but complete. Hell, sometimes I get angry when something I tried to describe takes me a bunch of useless text and he can do the same in a few lines. A few things, in my opinion, that I'd love to see him do: - Longer posts: This one is mostly because I love to write big ass post with a lot of content, because it's fun to write interactions with your own characters. And Vapovile has a lot of interesting charactres that, combined with his sense of humor, would end up having hilarous or deep conversations.
- Male characters: Vapo has a lot of regular female characters (like Haruko, Aria, Candence and Ash) and they are some of the most unique and interesting characters on the forum, but it'll be interesting to see him RP as a few stronger male characters.
- More DMing: Pretty straight forward. Although now he's DMing King's treasure, it's the first thread i've seen him DM since I joined and the other one died a horrible death. (RIP Night Shift, I'll always remember you!) With his talent, is a shame he isn't doing it more!
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Post by Vapovile on Oct 30, 2016 23:50:38 GMT
Well... One thing i can say about Kuma is that he has a great sense of Anime-ish comedy, if that makes any sense. It's a double edge sword, because I feel that sometimes takes a bit of realism from time to time. It all depends of the readers taste, of course. Now I'll say a couple of things about one of the oldest and most active members of our community: Vapovile! A great guy (who at first i though was a chick!) and an awesome writer! First of all I'd like to say that i absolutely love his characters and few of them are my favourites of the forum (Sid FTW) and, as Kuma, has a great timing for comedy and keeps his writing short but complete. Hell, sometimes I get angry when something I tried to describe takes me a bunch of useless text and he can do the same in a few lines. A few things, in my opinion, that I'd love to see him do: - Longer posts: This one is mostly because I love to write big ass post with a lot of content, because it's fun to write interactions with your own characters. And Vapovile has a lot of interesting charactres that, combined with his sense of humor, would end up having hilarous or deep conversations.
- Male characters: Vapo has a lot of regular female characters (like Haruko, Aria, Candence and Ash) and they are some of the most unique and interesting characters on the forum, but it'll be interesting to see him RP as a few stronger male characters.
- More DMing: Pretty straight forward. Although now he's DMing King's treasure, it's the first thread i've seen him DM since I joined and the other one died a horrible death. (RIP Night Shift, I'll always remember you!) With his talent, is a shame he isn't doing it more!
Thanks for the critique, Obscuris! I for sure need to work on making more interesting male characters, and DM more. Since you critiqued me...I shall return the gesture! First off, I like how you have a hilarious duo in Arlana and Sun, who can play off each other and make for some pretty funny scenes all on their own. Her made up swear words are also pretty hilarious, at least to me. Some things I would love to see: 1. A DMed Arlana topic. That opening post for Arlana/Sun/Cian in Halloween Hauntings was great, with them visiting that one place(people will know what I mean) and her giving that little speech. So I would love it if you DMed a topic where Arlana finds another card, adding more to the petting-zoo she is walking around with. 2. More characters. While I do love Arlana and her pets, her and Count seem to be your only main characters currently. I know you just made a new one, so I'm looking forward to seeing what he brings to the table! That's really all I can think of atm...your posts are long and detailed with great stuff. Keep up the good work! |
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Post by Obscuris on Oct 31, 2016 0:43:09 GMT
Thanks Vapo! I'm currently waiting for some threads to end before starting a thread with Arlana (but i have to post a mini story about her to before!) And i'm really excited to show what i have planned for her.
Regarding the second part, its the same problem as the first! I'm eager to show more of Hikari and introduce Angelo in a thread, maybe a closed RP if someone's up for it. I wanted to put one of them on King's treasure, but i was kinda busy and i didnt want to stall it.
Thanks a lot for your commentes! I'll keep them in mind.
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Post by Kuma on Oct 31, 2016 3:45:24 GMT
Thanks for the critique Obscuris
My only comment for you is:
1. You sometimes get to entangled on displaying the emotional state of your characters through excellent use of metaphors. But sometimes this is, like my anime-ish humor, a double edged sword, because the excess of purple prose in a setting as ours with so many fantasy and sci-fi elements might be confused with stuff that is actually happening and not just narrative embelishment.
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Post by Obscuris on Oct 31, 2016 14:21:34 GMT
Can you give me a quick example? So i can start correcting that ASAP.
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Post by Kuma on Oct 31, 2016 15:30:58 GMT
It happened when you described the reaction of the people to the death in Gala. It almost seemed like something that was actually happening rather than just narrative embelishment
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Post by Iris on Oct 31, 2016 18:00:09 GMT
I wish I knew what to say...hrmmm...Since I haven't been with you guys as long as you have each other, I don't have much to really critique on.
For Kuma: I still genuinely don't really have anything here. I've not encountered anything really.
For Vapovile: I wish I could see Haruko more! She's the main, but I've only seen her in two topics, one which got cut and the other we're just starting. Other than that though, I really love your Doll characters! Ash and Cadence are my favorites.
For Obscuris: Maybe a little more activity outside of large topics, like you said, a one on one would be nice and maybe the casual air of a topic like that would help loosen up any anxieties you feel towards posting in really heavy topics!
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Post by Obscuris on Oct 31, 2016 19:07:37 GMT
I really want to get in a one on one thread, but i'm kind of afraid that I'll end up stalling it or that the other player gets bored. I dont have a lot of confidence on my own skills to keep an one on one intersting, tbh.
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Post by Obscuris on Oct 31, 2016 19:08:38 GMT
And thanks for the comments!
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